“Highly classified”

Shorter Stephen Hayes:

The hysterically over-secretive Dick Cheney never informed me of the security bunker at the Naval Observatory while I was writing his hagiography; therefore, its existence is self-evidently “highly classified” and Joe Biden should be hanged at the next available opportunity. Prepare the gallows!

Cheney also had the Naval Observatory removed from Google Maps; its existence is thus obviously highly classified, and my knowledge of it means that I should be next after Biden.

I learned about the bunker under the White House from 24, but George W. Bush never mentioned it: highly classified. Joel Surnow, you’re up third.

Honestly, how does this man brush his teeth every morning?